Impact play

Strikes with a hand or a toy, counted, on an agreed part of the body.

Why people do it

A struck body floods with endorphins, and the count gives both people something to hold on to. It is also the easiest kind of play to make bigger or smaller by one notch, which is why so many evenings are built around it.

Smallest way in

An open hand on the buttocks, ten strokes, warming up from light. No implement, no position, no counting rules — just find out whether the sting reads as pain or as heat.

What to watch

Fleshy places only: buttocks, the backs of the thighs, the upper back away from the spine. Never the kidneys (the small of the back below the ribs), the tailbone, the spine, the joints, the neck or the head. Warm up first — jumping straight to full force is how tissue gets damaged rather than reddened.

In the planner

34 different things carry this tag, and switching it off removes every one of them. The mildest of them sits at easy.